Thats so high school.

Riddle me this, i say, how young people grow up to be as equally immature and petty as they were in their acne, permit, prom date days. We all remember sitting in the quad for lunch, overhearing vile whispers and dodging nasty glares from our fellow classmates. Passing notes, and passing time we all awaited graduation day. It came, it went. On to bigger, better things for the most of us. However, others, still caught up in their yearbooks and cheer leading glory days never grew up. Here i sit, 5 years after the fact and im still being bombarded with pre-pubescent, sophomore, melodramatic fatuity. I understand the excitement and thrill one might get after diligently lurking on Facebook to find out you are the only one who didnt gain their "freshman 15". Perhaps you are overcome with joy when you realize you also are one of the few who hasnt popped out a child, married the high school trash bag, or are still living in your parents basement. To not be elated upon hearing, or more, lurking such things, you might not be able to classify one as a human being. 

HOWEVER.

 If i may also say, i absolutely do not want 
to hear a girl call "dibs" on a boy(s) she dated junior year. "Like seriously, OMG, can you believe (fill in the blank) is fucking talking to (fill in the blank) on Facebook. Im so defriending her." Ummm, come on now. We are all past this, arent we? So what if (fill in the blank) wore whitey tighties, and who cares that (fill in the blank) had head lice the majority of senior year. If we cant outgrow our past, then what does that say about our futures? Its both vexatious, and pathetic when i hear about the "used to be's" and "would of beens." I challenge all you miserably nostalgic juveniles to not only mind your own business, but to also look in a mirror and ask yourselves, "who the fuck am i anyways?"
Chances are you havent achieved much either, and if you have, a few things you still lack are maturation, sophistication and tact. So grow the fuck up, post it on Facebook and cry about it when you get home from your day job at the mall.